Ep 007 - Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper
Thu, 10/22 9:32AM 41:48
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
boxing, coach, kids, athletes, people, counterpunch, parents, program, therapy, young, working, long, pushing, tattoos, world, listening, adolescent, resilience, talking, competition
SPEAKERS
Paul Barnett, Transition, István Görgényi, Intro, Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper, Jim Woolfrey
Intro 00:01
Welcome to the great coach's podcast. To me, being perfect is not about that scoreboard after this is a chance you can understand the dressing, you can work towards a common goal. We are all on the same team. Now you do it to the issue of focus on the fundamentals. We've gone over time and time again. It's got to be better. We've known great moments are born. Great opportunity.
Paul Barnett 00:35
My name is Paul Barnett, and you are listening to the great coach's Podcast, where we interview great sporting coaches to try and find ideas to help all of us lead our teams better. Our great coach on this show is Mercedes TAFE, Cooper Merc as she prefers to be called as one European and World Championships in kickboxing. She's also a registered psychologist, has a degree in sports and exercise science, and is an international boxing coach with over 40 years of coaching experience, having worked with boxes ranked in the top 10 in the world in their weight divisions. Merc was born in Ireland that now lives in Australia, where she runs the very successful Counter Punch program. Counter Punch utilizes a mix of performance psychology, sports science, and boxing. To teach teenagers, the life skills needed to manage emotions, such as stress, anxiety, anger, and depression. Merck shares her insights on working with youth athletes and young people. And as a parent, I have already started applying some of her ideas. The highlights of our discussion for me were the difference between the adult and adolescent brain. And why tone of speech is therefore important. The importance of connecting your request as a coach with the athletes value world and normalizing the stress of competition. It's a great interview. It's a little bit different. And I hope you enjoy it.
Transition 02:05
The great coaches podcast.
Paul Barnett 02:07
So Mercedas, it's lovely to meet you today. How are you?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 02:11
I'm good. Thank you.
Paul Barnett 02:13
And can I start by asking where in the world are you today?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 02:17
I am in the Adelaide Hills in South Australia and mount Barker to be exact, and it's a little bit chilly and wintry but still a beautiful part of the world.
Paul Barnett 02:29
Well, I'm looking forward to this conversation with you very much today because you've got a very interesting background covering psychology, boxing, and kickboxing. And I hope we get into all of that as well as your work with at risk youth. But I'd like to sort of start by talking to you about a quote that I read when I was preparing for today. And you said the first time I connected with myself was through physical exercise, specifically boxing, I found that it facilitated the connection between my mind and body, and ultimately connection with my spirit. So I'd like to ask how were you introduced to boxing?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 03:07
Well, my first introduction to combat sport, if you like was was probably martial arts. So I would have been introduced to kickboxing long before I started being involved in boxing. But primarily boxing became my pathway or my passion because I basically couldn't keep to save my life. So back then there was no boxing for females. So it was the only thing we could do. But as soon as females were allowed to box, that's kind of what I wanted to do. But unfortunately, at the time, the operator image was 35. And they brought in the first female World Championships when I just passed my 35th birthday. So that was a bit depressing. Now it is the course it's 41. So I could have done it. But when I moved to Australia actually because obviously I'm Irish but when I moved to Australia, I discovered masters boxing. So I was able to do to fulfill my bucket list if you like and actually compete in boxing. And now I coach boxing and use it as a medium boxing and martial arts because my sort of target audience, if you like in terms of training facilitators are in fact combat coaches, but ultimately, obviously, teenage boys in particular, the target of what I do, Levine when I was 17 back in the day of Bruce Lee and all those guys that I first started martial arts, karate, traditional karate with a guy called Michael Clancy and Gary Salter, and then I sort of transitioned into kickboxing with a guy who came ultimately became my my main coach and kickboxing, Michael McDermott. And then ultimately from there, around 92 I started getting involved and started St. Joseph's Boxing Club. Probably one of the major influences then would have been obviously, Mike proved winning the Olympic gold medal. And Nicholas Cruz subsequently doing a tour of the country with workshops and sort of giving us an insight into the science of boxing, if you like, and probably a tribute to him was the main reason why I went on to do a Sport Science degree because he did sort of Teach me for the first time about the actual science of boxing as a sport. And yeah, so it's still going strong. So still coaching.
Paul Barnett 05:38
And now you've brought all of this energy and all this learning into the Counter Punch program that you've set up to coach at risk youth boxing in South Australia. Could you tell us a little bit about that program?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 05:52
For a second there, Paul, sorry to cut across you. But I do have an issue when you say at risk young people, because it's not actually targeting at risk, because the initial funding came through suicide prevention when I first started the program. And the ironic thing is that the kids that unfortunately, suicide are not at risk. As such, you know, they haven't been identified as such less than 3% are within the mental health system. So for me, I work with youth period, not at risk youth or youth who, you know, are perceived as being troubled. So more having had trauma or anything else. I mean, that well may be the case. But there's a huge amount of young people who don't sort of fit into that at risk criteria, who still fall through the cracks. One principal at a school in Darwin actually described it as the kid who, you know, swinging on the back of the chair in the back of the classroom, who doesn't call any attention to themselves, or who isn't engaged either. And those are the kids that, you know, that big cohort in the middle, if you like, Are the kids that I like to focus on, because I think there's the potential there to actually make the biggest difference. I think there are a lot of services out there for, for the sort of really what you might call high end kids. And obviously, I'm very supportive of anything that can help those kids too. But I think that from a difference making point of view, and from what I do with counterpunch, it's very much an early intervention stroke prevention program. So it's just kids, it's that age group, teenagers, adolescents. And I would say specifically boys, because in the time I've been doing it, it's boys that fit the sort of most respond and most get the most outcome from from the program and the physical nature of it.
Paul Barnett 07:48
Can you tell us about the program and what it entails?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 07:51
Oh, how long is your podcast? So basically, counterpunch came about I guess, as, as an evolvement, if you like from my involvement in martial arts, in boxing, ultimately, in completing a sports and exercise science degree and going on, and at the same time, a psychology degree. And when I finished my sports and exercise science group, I was lucky enough to get a scholarship to do a PhD, which at the time was going to be on sort of the effect of the psychological effects of injury on elite athletes. But one of the things I had to do in order to complete the research was to find an empirical questionnaire that well, like it says, was was empirically validated. So it was recognized as an authentic way to do the research. And as a result of that, I ended up doing a week long course, if you like, in reality therapy, which is a branch of psychotherapy was developed by a guy called William Glasser. And I just fell in love with the whole concept of reality therapy. And to me, it just makes so much sense that as a result, I actually gave up a that scholarship, I didn't finish my PhD I sold the house I grew up with, and I emigrated to Australia. So I had a slight impact on my own sort of life, potentially, because I was approaching 40, I guess maybe at that stage where there were a lot of endings in my life and Ireland and it was a good time to sort of do something completely new. And I had a brother in Melbourne knows and Australia and it was something that I just made a decision to do. Probably primarily because the weather if I'm honest, but I just sort of, you know, when I when I came to Australia, you know, after you know a little while, took a while for my visa to come through which I've been kind of you, you know, took two years from then for me to actually move to Australia, with the visa and all that sort of stuff and Long story short, I ended up doing as a master's in clinical psychology at the University in Hobart in Tasmania, because I ended up in tazzy, and loved it. And I did clinical purely because it was the only one that would have got me national recognition to get my registration. As a psychologist, I didn't really have an interest in clinical psychology to be honest, I'm a behavioral psychologist, that's what I see myself as. But it was certainly a learning experience. And during that I had to do a PhD. Sorry, a thesis. So I decided to use my reality therapy unboxing to sort of start to create what was the genesis of canon phones, did some research, one of the main outcomes from the research with the group of young fellows sort of around 1213 was that the practical element was hugely impactful and hugely important in the outcome of the program. So that was basically, as I said, the genesis of counterpunch. And then as part of my research, or part of my qualification, as a psychologist, I had to do placement. And one of those placements was a teenage placement and in adolescent placement, if you like working with adolescents, and in the course of all this, of course, I also met my husband, who was in the army. So I ended up in Darwin, because that's where he was posted to. I was there for about six months for private practice. And I potentially had no adolescent clients. So it was in the wrong the wrong placement. I ended up working with the child and adolescent mental health, with the Department of Health in the in in Darwin. And, you know, through a series of discussion and sort of pushing and pushing and pushing, I eventually got funding to basically trial counterpunch as a program in the gym, and all the rest of it. And then when we got to going, Menzies School of Health did a further Master's research on counterpunch. And the outcome, the interesting things, there's very little empirical research on youth resilience training or youth resilience programs. But I guess the basis of the program is a combination of using the physical medium of boxing or just exercise, but the idea of actually getting boys to do stuff physically, combined with the tenants of reality therapy in choice theory, and sort of the psychology and my own experience of working with young people to kind of create a program, which has sense like I moved to USA in 2015. And let evolved, you know, a long way since then. And now I work for myself for my own company, counterpunch. pichwai. And yeah, I'm working for myself, working in private practice with young people, transition them into groups, running the Counter Punch program, as it was set up to be run, and about to launch the facilitator training for combat coaches, so they can actually graduate pro groups of kids through their gyms, in their own facilities. Because, again, a long process of trial and error, because I did a lot of workshops with health workers and teachers, all of them benefit that the feedback has been all positive, to be honest. But my mission, if you like, is to get as many teenagers as possible through the program, you know, throughout the world, and I think the best network for me to do that and the best, I guess, you know, it's it's funny how you can see what's obvious until it's actually in the face. But combat coaches are, who am I know best, because I am one on have been for 40 years now. So potentially, there were the people I shouldn't be working with right from the start, because I can duplicate myself, I still run the program and work all the time with kids. But you know, I'm in Mount Barker, there's only so much of a radius I can cover. So I want to make sure that it gets out. I've already got people qualified in Ireland, but we haven't yet got the program running lawyer wanted to but we're making a big drive towards that. Now, obviously, there was a massive amount of things to put in place. And then a bit of financial requirements as well, which, which hopefully, we're sort of getting with getting there with now. And I think in the next year, you're going to see a lot more of counterpunch all over the place.
Paul Barnett 14:38
If someone if a coach is listening to this and wants to fold in some elements of reality therapy to what they do, how would you advise them to go about then?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 14:52
Well, reality therapy is very much about being you know, looking at what's happening right now in the present. It's, it doesn't focus on the thinking and focuses on the action. So basically, if you want to change how you feel, you must change what you do. And the doing needs to be something that basically meets your needs. And in most cases with teenage boys, my experience, the needs, that least be met is what lasser termed, are defined as the power need, which is basically that ability for a young person to achieve intrinsic satisfaction and do something that basically makes them feel good without necessarily needing anybody else to contribute to that. And that can be as simple as finding a hobby that they enjoy doing, or just doing something that gives them that sense of achievement and progression. And, for me, in my experience with the young people that I work with, boxing, combat sport, is one of the best ways to fulfill their criteria. But I've had a lot of kids who've come through the program, who they've gone back to play their sport, whatever being rugby, or, in some cases, when I worked in schools in Ireland, and all I simply did was got the young people to get involved in sport in the first place, or a hobby, something that literally represents their happy place. When you think about it, as an adolescent, you probably have the least amount of power that you will ever have in your whole life. Because you know, from when you get up in the morning, you're told where to go, you know what to eat, what to wear, what time you got to be at school, when you can have a break, when you can eat, sit still shut off, listen, present, it's a bit like, you know, you're going into a new job, and you have to get used to a new environment, you have to get to know a new boss. And you just when you're starting to get to know him, you have to get up and meet a whole other new boss and a whole other new environment. And you do that like six times a day. Do you know what I mean? Is it any wonder that so many kids can't can't cope with school because it's, it's, it's massive amount of challenge. But the biggest one is, I think, especially for boys is the lack of physicality. You know, the, the, I know, myself, I'm a girl, but sitting for 70 minutes straight is hard work. And, you know, sitting for 70 minutes straight and showing up is really hard work. So it's, you know, I have to, you know, put a photo sort of proviso on that and saying that, you know, all of the teachers I've worked with have been absolutely fantastic. And, you know, majority of teachers do want the best for the kids. But in my experience, everybody is struggling, because they're all working within the system, and the system has demands that you're all trying to do. And I spent many years trying to access schools, and, you know, I've concluded that they're basically reactionary, rather than proactive they have to be, they're just constantly putting out fires, you know, and even with the end is, which is like a national disability program for kids on the spectrum and stuff like that, you they never had an actual funding arm for early intervention and prevention, it's all, it's all putting fires out, you know, because I guess governments aren't going to focus on fixing a problem that will develop in 10 years, they just want to do something that's going to happen within their four year, four year reign, if it's that long, or whatever. So I think that sort of prevention is in every area, whether it be the prison service that helps or the sorry, the, you know, the Justice service, the health service, education, service, whatever it is, prevention, early intervention is the key, you know, to actually teach these kind of, you know, the kind of stuff problem solving, sort of just resilience, all of that stuff. Because it's all repeated patterns that are happening over and over, when you look at it, I spent two years working in a private practice. And I've concluded that all of the clients that I work with, are repeating the patterns that they learned when they were teenagers. So why not try and get in there early and actually teach them how to break those patterns and change those patterns. Early on, you know, we're very externally controlled, you know, just actually teaching people how to actually be internally controlled, be responsible just for themselves and be responsible for their own behavior. Even that in itself isn't it would be a massive step forward.
Paul Barnett 19:29
You've said, and this is a quote, talk therapy does not work with kids, doing something is much better. So what advice do you have for youth coaches, who are not connecting with their athletes as well as they would like?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 19:43
Good question. I think the first thing you have to ask yourself is, from your perspective, why are you a coach, you know, what is it that is your objective? What is it that you want? I mean, in some cases, people coach people They're trying to achieve something with the team that they're working with, you know, they're actually future oriented, looking at, well, how successful can we be? I think if you're not coaching, from the perspective of it being about the kids, then you're probably not in the right job, I think the first thing is to connect, you must be able to connect on the level of the athlete and understand where they're coming from. It's hard, especially if you're a professional coach, because you know, it's like being a teacher, you're also within a system and you've got criteria that you have to meet. But getting the best out of a young person means that you have to try and meet their needs, at the same time, it needs to be challenging, you know, there's times when you have to push them. And there's times when you have to soften your approach. But the most important thing is that you have to have an open line of communication, because if you don't have both of you don't have the same information. [PB1] And I'd qualify that even further by saying, If both of you don't have the same perception of the same information, then the communication will break down. Because the first thing to break down a relationship is when both parties don't have that same information. And I think one of the key things for a coach to learn if they're working with adolescents, is to understand the difference between the adolescent brain and the adult brain. For example, you and I are talking and we process words, and we kind of comprehend what the air and we go from there and talk about what we're talking about. But for a young person, especially a young bloke, they don't hear the words first, like language is probably the most primitive communication that you young people use. The first thing that a young person will will perceive is your tone of voice. And when they're at that sort of adolescent stage of raging hormones and intense emotion, then they tend to fly off the handle just with the slightest change in tone, because they've perceived that as being attacked or being, you know, you're being aggressive, or you're complaining or whatever, even if it's something, something that that that you're coming from a heart centered place like a kid come, I mean, it works both ways, right? If you're a parent, the one thing that's gonna trigger you is anything that you perceive as being a threat to your child's safety. So when I talk to the kids, I'll always tell them, this is one thing that's going to trigger your parents and this is one thing you need to understand, they know more about, you just have to accept that they know more about it, because they've lived it, you have no idea because you can't even process consequences at the moment, you can only think about now and get the rush right now. So as simple as you know, communicating to the kid to drop a text, if they're going to be late. And then you know, for the parent understand that once they get that text, that's okay, that they're okay. But for the kid to understand that, when you walk in the door, that's like half past 10. And you were said you're going to be home at 10pm. Your your mom's probably going through every scenario under the song between being kidnapped, or drug induced or driven over a cliff to being in the hospital, all of those things are gone through triggering their fight or flight. So when you walk into the door, instead of saying, Oh, thank God, I'm so happy, you're safe. They go Where the hell are you? Because they're worried, you know? Or they might say, you know, you know, they might even say it in a way that's like, thank God, your home would say in an aggressive tone. So they're going to react to the tone, and I will what's the big deal? You know, I've only only half an hour Les, what's the big deal? You know? So again, it's just a lack of both people having the same perception of the same information. So sometimes simple communication is is massive. So going back to the original question, when you're working with your athletes as a coach, the line of communication keeping that open, I think and making sure you're both on the same page is is the key. The key thing
Paul Barnett 24:14
Mercadas just listening to you. It's it's fascinating, your view on breaking down the art of coaching into steps, but you were also a European and a world champion kickboxer before you became a registered psychologist and a boxing coach. So I'd like to ask you quite a broad question, but it's what is it you do you think that great coaches do differently?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 24:40
Oh, um, I guess great coaches, they potentially they know how to tap into their athletes value world[PB2] . Because especially if you're working with adolescent athletes, there's only so much processing capacity that they have in their adolescent brain. Because that frontal cortex is not fully developed until they're like mid 20s. So it kind of explains why parents will tell you to do chores or do this or do that. And you're like, What the hell are you talking about yet, you can have a conversation on your, on your phone with your mate. And you can be listening to iTunes and listening to whatever tunes are playing and playing a computer game at the same time. The difference being that doing the chores, and putting out the bean and what taking the dishes out of the washing machine is not as high in your value world is talking to your mates and getting to the next level on the computer game. So in order for you to connect, and in order for you to get the athlete to do what it is that they need to do, you must first place what it is you're asking them and yourself in their value world. Because if what they're doing is not connected to their values, then the chance of them achieving the goal is very, very slight. That doesn't mean that everything they do is value. Like I have athletes who hate doing sprints, but they do it, because they're connecting it to the outcome of, you know, winning state titles or whatever it is that they're aiming for doing what they love, which in my case is boxing. So, yeah, that that connection, and that that ability for you to put yourself into your athletes value world. And and to be you know, to be someone that they can trust someone that they can approach that they're not competing are performing through fear, but competing are performing because they want you to be proud of them are happy with, you know, like, you know, they want to do it for you[PB3] , I suppose the same as they want to do it for their father or their mother in our domain. That's the sort of connection I believe what adolescent athletes anywhere that you need to have.
Paul Barnett 26:51
We talked earlier about youth resilience, or rather, you talked about youth resilience. And I think it's an issue that many people want to deal with many coaches in particular want to help their athletes become more resilient. What advice do you have for coaches who are trying to build the resilience of their, their athletes, particularly their their youth athletes?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 27:15
Yeah, look at that. That's a really good question. Um, I mean, that's what counterpunch is all about. It's about helping young people to develop resilience around emotional regulation and problem solving, and actually understanding what's in their control and what's out of their control.[PB4] Be honest with you, a lot of the problem can be the patterns that they're learning. And I've been, you know, the parental structures around facilitating behavior. You know, I had a discussion only today with with a friend, and she's very, you know, good parents, strong parents. And she was even making the remark that, you know, she's picked a school, that's a private school and pays fees to sort of help their kids to be strong and develop character and walking on tenterhooks trying to keep them happy all the time, you know what I mean? And that doesn't really serve them very well, because I think, you know, without putting too fine a point on it, I think there are a certain number of challenges, young people have the word there. When I was young, you know, I'm 55. Now, so it's a little while ago. But certainly, I think that I became a stronger, more independent person by having more responsibility, and by having to take care of my own stuff and fight my own battles, if you like. So, I think sometimes parents want to step in and protect their children too much to be honest, and I understand where they're coming from. But I think that it's important, if you're pushing your athletes and you're trying to develop resilience, then you need, potentially the cooperation of your parents, which I know was of their parents, rather, which I know is always challenging for athletes, because quite often, if you talk to a lot of coaches, and you've talked to a few, I'm sure, potentially the parents are more of a problem than the teenage athlete there can be. And that's not to say parents are bad, I really don't mean that parents are just repeating patterns that they've learned. And they don't want to see their kids make the same mistakes. But what they don't realize is that their kids that they've learned and become the person they are because of the mistakes they made because of that learning process.[PB5] And I think the biggest issue is that we're afraid maybe as coaches too, but we're afraid of allowing our kids to experience the consequences of their behavior. You know, I think in every situation they can experience the consequences except when you mentioned we talked about before, when it comes to safety because obviously, that's that's a line we don't want them. That's why we sort of Tell them that, you know, and when it comes to safety, they do know best listen to them, they've got to because they've been there, done that. But in every other thing, you know, resolving growing relationships, you know, dealing with bullying at school and stuff like that, you know, it's like, it's more about giving them bullying is, is coming from being in a victim mentality. Sometimes, you know, if you walk around with your head down and you're afraid to look at anybody in the eye, chances are they're going to get bullied, not because, and they're bullied themselves potentially has been bullied, they're trying to meet their power need by projecting onto the other person. I teach my young people how to respond to a bully and nine times out of 10. They it works, you know, because the bullies often crying out for help themselves, but I'm sort of getting off track here. But in terms of resilience, I think the single best piece of advice I would give is to is much as possible, allow your athletes to experience the consequences of their own behaviors[PB6]
Paul Barnett 31:06
Mercadas, youve coach the combat sports, and I imagine, there is a degree of fear that that spikes before a fight, perhaps potentially even before training, how do you help your athletes deal with that fear?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 31:22
When they're novice and when they're like sparring for the first time and all of that, like, you know, boxing is a very protected sport, you know, there's a lot of mis mis information around boxing. And you know, it's all it's a brutal sport. And you know, it's unsafe, and I don't want my child to do it. But in my experience, boxing is one of the most medically policed sports and I'm talking about amateur boxing, a lot of people confuse amateur and pro pros completely different to amateur boxing. I don't know if you realize this. But in amateur boxing, if you ever got a concussion, you're basically banned from competing for through from sparring or doing training, any type of contact for a minimum of three months. If it happened a second time, it's 12 months if it happened a third time. That's it, you're banned from being able to box in amateur, I think in you know, and I've talked to my kids to play footy, I think that there's probably on average, in every every team, there's an average of one or two concussions a week, you know, so it's like, it's first of all, reassuring them that there's nothing to be afraid of, from a safety point of view. They're wearing 16 ounce gloves, they're wearing headgear, they have mongers, they're aspiring people match to their ability and their waist. And so there's nothing for them to fear in terms of a disadvantage, it's really their journey, like what's a better analogy for life than getting into a boxing ring when you think about it, because it's like, the fear is never about the other person, the fear is just you pushing through your comfort zone. That's why boxing is such a fantastic way to develop confidence. Because once you push through that comfort zone, when you get that first tap on the nose, or whatever, because you know it's boxing, you're always going to get a tap on the nose, then it's like, ah, and then you know, in most cases, they're loving it, you know, because they know, it's not such a big deal, because, you know, it's pushing gloves and made gains and all the rest of it. So it's, you know, initially I'm like, really supportive, making sure they're okay, but not not investing in any kind of a victim mentality, you know, I think the more normalized you can make it, and the more kind of off and you can be making, you know, assuming you've already got the relationship with them then. And the less force you make about it, the more normalized it is, the more natural it is for them to just do it. You know, I mean, nerves is normal, but not from being afraid of what's gonna happen most kids nowadays are just don't want to lose, it's kind of that kind of thing, like afraid of their own performance, not afraid for their physical health. So just normalizing just exposing them to the environment. So it's familiar to them, we have a progression they do but aspiring in their own gym, and we take them to another gym, which is a different environment completely, like, have a few spars there, and there's much more nerve wracking doing it there because it's somebody else's gym, on their turf, and then eventually transitioning into competition. Here in South Australia, we've had three events recently, which are competition, sparring, which are like, like a competition, but no decisions just to get kids back into that sort of timing and stuff that because they've missed so much competition on account of the whole COVID thing. And so I've had two young lads that have literally had their three first competitions, bars, and the progression from one to three is amazing, you know, and it's like, I think if we dwell too much on, if they start to go into victim mentality, then we don't want to encourage that. We want to just say, you know, Get them onto that other level, get them out of that, because that's just their crocodile brain I call it their fight or flight, trying to keep them where they're, you know, your your comfort zone is always going to resist getting pushed through because it's its objective, the objective of that part of your brain is to keep you where you are, to keep them the status quo. So everything we do that involves change is being interpreted by that part of your brain as threat. So even if you're moving house, or if you're going to a different place, never mind getting into a ring, your, your comfort zone is threatened because any kind of a change triggers. But the more you push through it, the higher level your comfort zone becomes, you know, and it just becomes more of a natural thing. And I've never ever yet had a young person get in the ring and win, lose or draw and come out and go, I hated that. I never want to do it again. Most of the time, it's all that was so good. When can we do it next, even if I don't win, because it's such a big, you know, adrenaline rush and a buzz and a challenge and a step forward and a progression. [PB7] And it's just yeah, it's an incredible thing, because it's unlike football or any other thing because it's individual, it's just you, it's like, you get into the ring. The ring is your world, and your opponent is just all the obstacles that you face in your world, if you like as an analogy, and that's exactly what it is. It's not about your opponent, it's about you. And then it's just about whatever strategy you use. But, you know, I've had several occasions even yesterday, where, where one young fella was getting in the ring, and he saw the other kid in an AC shirt, and I'm like, I used to stay reference, like, he probably just borrowed the singer, you know, cuz they're all matched up according to their level, you know, another occasion when a young lad when I worked up in Darwin, and we brought him down to the Golden Gloves, you know, in in, in Queensland. And it's great competition, because it has levels like, you can get matched up at your own level, like novice intermediate, and, and this kid was sitting beside this other kid that he was going to be fighting and the other kid was covered in tattoos. And I was like, he was suddenly really scared of this other kid because he looked dangerous, because he was, you know, he was head to toe and tattoos. And he'd never seen anybody with tattoos before you know. So his perception was that he must be good at boxing, because he has tattoos. To know like, so we get this misinformation. And we, we connect because our, our croc brain our you know, our fight or flight brain is always going to look for a way for us to avoid or not to change or not to push through
Paul Barnett 37:35
How did he perform against the boy with the tattoos?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 37:39
He won
Paul Barnett 37:40
Mercadas, just one question to finish with, if I could, and what is the legacy that you want to leave as a coach?
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 37:49
The legacy that I want to leave obviously, is my mission is to have counterpunch worldwide, to have as many kids as possible doing it. So I guess my legacy is for, for Let's go, I mean, it's to have counterparts worldwide, it's for young people everywhere to connect, relate, and communicate, and communicate their own potential, like realize their purpose on this earth and fulfill their purpose. You know, and actually just go for it. [PB8] You know, when I talk to clients, I often say to them, even watch the movie, the matrix, if you can imagine that you're in a different dimension before you're born into this dimension. But there's a new you have a purpose, you have a mission when you get born into this dimension. But there's a there's a, there's a clause or a catch. And the catch is that when you're born, you're your your memory is white. So you have to actually discover what that purpose is and evolve to fulfill it. So you have to discover what it is that you've got stored in your subconscious that you can't remember. So you've got to find your purpose, and fulfill your purpose. Because, you know, for a young person to understand and to realize that nobody is on this earth by accident that everybody is here for a reason. And then every experience we have up until this moment in time, is purposeful. Whether it's a good experience or a bad experience, there's a purpose behind it another lesson to be learned. And, and, and the learning is, you know, to recognize that and to learn from one and to move forward from there towards fulfilling that purpose. Yeah.
Paul Barnett 39:33
Besides, thank you so much for your time today. It's been a wonderful conversation, and I appreciate it very much.
Mercedas Taaffe-Cooper 39:39
No worries been slightly one sided conversation, but thank you for having me.
Transition 39:46
The great coaches podcast.
Jim Woolfrey 39:49
Hi, it's Jim. I hope you enjoyed listening to Merck and were as impressed as I was listening to the impact she is having on young lives. What stuck with me most was her description of Reality therapy to help you improve how you feel through action, the role of a parent in standing back and allowing their children to experience the consequences of their behavior as a means to build resilience, and her ways to build self confidence in young athletes. You'll find a link to mercs counterpunch program in the show notes coming up next on the great coach's podcast, and we speak to Dr. Van garganey. His fan is a former Hungarian Olympic water polo player and iconic coach, who also coach the Australian Women's National Water polo team to the gold medal at the 2000 Sydney Olympics is hunting territory philosophy on team dynamics and group performance is one not to miss
István Görgényi 40:44
players are really very territorial, they want to be exceptional, they want to be the best. They want to score the most laws and so on. But if they are locked into themselves, which is a the tunnel vision is that is a characteristics of the selfishness that are only if you really just focus on yourself, it means that you don't be that as other players movement, so you would give short passes or too long or too early or too late passes so the team is not working well. You might be the best player on the pitch but the team is not functioning.
Jim Woolfrey 41:26
And just before we go if you have any feedback on any of our episodes, or you know a great coach who has a unique story to share, we'd love to hear from you. You'll find our contact details in the show notes.