Natasha Adair Edit

Mon, Oct 03, 2022 3:48PM • 41:18

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

coach, people, natasha, players, empower, important, leader, student athletes, mike peterson, talk, day, head coach, journey, years, words, conversation, team, matters, trophies, mom

SPEAKERS

Natasha Adair, Paul Barnett

Paul Barnett 00:00

Natasha ad. Good evening, my time. Good morning, your time and welcome to the great coaches podcast.

Natasha Adair 00:06

Thank you so much for having me. And again, this is a great way to start my morning.

Paul Barnett 00:11

Well, it's a great way for me to end my day, Natasha and I'm looking forward to talking about all things basketball with you, but maybe something easy to get his going. Could you tell us where you are in the world and what you've been up to so far today?

Natasha Adair 00:24

Well, I am in the beautiful hot. Arizona state of Arizona. Obviously Arizona state is in Tempe, Arizona and I reside in Chandler and so you have the pleasure of speaking with me from my home in Chandler, Arizona this morning.

Paul Barnett 00:43

And I know you've just moved there. So we're gonna get all into your new home and your new university and your job as we get through this interview. Okay, I can't wait. Natasha, I want to start by just talking about three great coaches that I know you've had experience with Mike Peterson, Patrick Knapp, Tracy late Ludi. Oh, and there's also Patti Langworthy. Now, those are some pretty good coaches there. And I know that you've met many others on your journey and all the associations that you're part of maybe just a relatively easy question to begin. What do you think great coaches do differently that separates them from the rest?

Natasha Adair 01:19

From my experience, I'll say they're really good listeners. You know, most often coaches are talking. We are talking, they're telling you their philosophy, their vision, how you want, how they want things, how they should look. But I have found along my journey, that the great coaches, our listeners, they empower the people, not just the student athletes, the people around them, they're selfless. They don't want the limelight, they don't they don't want all the credit, and they make people better, holistically around them.[PB1]

Paul Barnett 01:51

I want to ask you about holistic focus and how you try to bring the whole person into the equation when you're coaching. But I'd like to go on a bit of a journey before we get there because there is a bit of a backstory to how you ended up where you are in Arizona and Well it starts in college with an anterior cruciate ligament injury. That means that you don't go from being an All American high school player to the University of Connecticut fact you head off to junior college before you get into the University of South Florida. And I'm wondering how this struggle, I mean, gee, we're gonna go work for Geno Auriemma, you're gonna play for Gino and happened. And I'm wondering how this struggle visible today in your approach to coaching?

Natasha Adair 02:33

Well, the word is adversity, we can all have that word in every way. But at 17. When you go from, like you said, an All American presidents of USA Today all American, all of these highlights all of these accolades. There's nothing that prepares you for when you go to the doctor's office, and they tell you, you tore your ACL. And even if we repair it, and this is back in 1989, this isn't now where technology has evolved tremendously. And they said, you know, you may never be the same. What do you do at 17? What does that mean? I had told all these other schools? No, I had my eyes fixated now, obviously, that was before the early signing period in November. So this took place in a preseason game. But the stakes were different than that's a big ask and a big risk. When the doctors are telling you this person may not be the same, versus now they'll tell you she's back in six months, and she'll be better than ever. So at that moment, I'm so grateful and so thankful for my family. Because my mother, she is such the prayer warrior in our home. That she said immediately God has a plan. And at 17 I'm like okay, Mom, I hear you. But right now, what does this mean for me? And not just my mom. Honestly, my dad, my coaches, Patty Langworthy was my high school coach at the time, who I still talked to to this day, and it was just we cried, we all cried. And we didn't know what was next. But I knew I was loved. I knew I was cared for. And I knew that my parents had instilled the strength and toughness in me that even though I couldn't see what was next, I knew I was going to be okay. [PB2]

But when you talk about adversity, and you talk about how that's paved my way just from a player coming back from injury, having to go through to the junior college level, to then test it to see if I could even be the same and thankful to Vicki Carson Hall of Fame, Vicki Carson, who took a chance, sight unseen. I mean, she knew what I could do, but we had no idea what I was going to be able to do next. But he said come here, there she poured into me as a person, building that confidence back up, telling me Hey, this is the new improved you, you don't know why this happened. And just growing in that experience, learning to trust learning to fight through adversity, knowing what I was knowing that I'll be a different but better version of myself, again, it was the people around me who poured into me because there were hard days, there were hard days when I knew I could do certain things, but my body wouldn't let me do it. And at 17 or 18 years old, how do you manage all of this? So I really attribute the people. I mean, I wouldn't be here without all of the people that we're going to talk about today. And that's just the snippet of just the beginning, how I apply just my experiences to coaching. It's every bit of that every day is adversity, every day, you're going to experience in this landscape that we're in now, in 2022.

I mean, you look at what our young players have to deal with. I mean, we social justice COVID pandemics, I mean, unheard of, we didn't experience that. Now, I tore my ACL in comparison to what they have to deal with on a daily basis, our worlds were private back then everything is on social, everything is public. Do you know the pressure that these, I don't even say 17 to 22 year olds, let's start in high school, let's start in middle school, their life is under a microscope, we got to fail in private, we got to grow in private, and only reach out to our safe space, our support group that wasn't going to judge us that wasn't going to say these cruel things publicly. And so when I look at that little bit of adversity that I went through, and how I apply it to now, every day, it's about the building our players, empowering them telling them that you can't see it will be it'll make sense in reverse. We don't know now, but stay on task, just the process, we will be I will be with you every step of the way. [PB3]

And that was because that happened for me. No one allowed me to be by myself. During that time. And on the journey back, they always reminded me of the growth, how proud they were, that what I was feeling was okay. When I was frustrated or angry or sad, they said it was normal. Because as an athlete, you don't want to show what we used to think was weakness if you cried or weakness if you didn't present yourself strong all the time.

And so it just taught me so much about being a leader. And being a teacher. And letting our young people know that it's a journey to wherever it is you want to go, the road to get there is never straight, it is going to have detours it is going to have potholes, it's going to have lumps. But if you don't have to go in along, and you're going to have people there, when you get off track to help you get back on, then you will get to the finish line. And it'll be a journey of a lifetime.[PB4] [PB5]

Paul Barnett 07:59

I feel like I want to bounce up now and run through a brick wall. The Tasha it's such an amazing story. But I want to go from adversity to patience if I can, because II the energy you have. And in that answer, you reframed your situation, you thought about it differently, which is such a powerful skill. But there's another part of your story, which is interesting. And that's 14 years as an assistant coach before you become a head coach, I can imagine for someone with your drive and energy must have felt like a long time. What did you learn about the power of patience through that?

Natasha Adair 08:35

We talked about me being a mother. There's nothing else that teaches you patience. But that no 14 years as I often reflect on that time, it didn't seem long as I go back now and reflect I'm grateful for 14 years, because I'm prepared. And you do get that seven year as they call it in the profession, that seven year itch where you feel like I know everything. I know basketball, I know X's and O's. I know what play I would call I know, you have to know how to be a great manager of people. Coaching is one component of what we have to do as a leader. And you have to know the people on your team and your organization. You have to know their why you have to learn what matters to them, versus what matters to me. And my 14 years allowed me to watch, to listen, to learn to ask questions, and I had with Patrick Knapp at Georgetown, obviously Mike Peterson at Wake Forest. [PB6]

But when you go back to high school with Patti Langworthy and Vicki Carson and Trudy Lacey, I had so many and those were just the head coaches. There were so many assistant coaches, as well that I still talked to Stephanie glance who, gosh, she has been so much to me, Helen Williams, those are people along the journey I watched, I watched the interactions with the players. I watched the interactions with head coach to assistant coach. And I pulled, I pulled what I loved. I pulled what I stayed away from what I didn't like, what didn't fit me and my coaching style. But I think I've grown so much over time, because you're talking about someone who started at 25. This is 25 years later, I just celebrated 50. And along that journey, things change, players evolve, circumstances change, environment changes. And I think that being able to adapt and learn and just realize what's best for you that 14 years, it was the right time. It was the right timing, because when I became that head coach at the College of Charleston, I wasn't nervous about being a leader of people I wasn't nervous about is this the right drill or the right play call? I was really confident, because I had two head coaches in Patrick Knapp and Mike Peterson, who allowed me to grow up my six years at Georgetown, and eight years, and Wake Forest, from third assistant to handling meals and travel and scouting, to elevating to my own pre and post game talk show and crisis management. And I used to wonder, Why am I in these meetings? Why do I feel like I'm doing X, Y and Z? Well, it makes sense in reverse. I used to have those conversations, especially with Mike Peterson. I was older and in my coaching profession at the time, where I felt more comfortable, more confident to go and sit down. And he created that open door policy with me because he was always what do you want to do? What's the path to get there? I want you to be the head coach from me. So what do you need from me? I mean, that's super powerful. That here is the head coach, the leader of the program. And he knows one day, I want to sit in that seat. And he's confident enough to say you know what, I can help you. But I know you're not one foot in one foot out here. A lot of head coaches are worried when their assistant coaches seek for new employment or stick to the head coach because they feel like you know what, there was no, he knew my loyalty. He saw it over the years. And he said, I'm gonna make sure you're ready. And so we talked strategy, we talked offense, we talked defense, we talked crisis management, we talked mental health, we talked about everything. And so I just think that being able to have all of that, in that 14 year journey. There was nothing for the most part that I hadn't seen or experienced when I scooted over those six inches to now lead my own program. And I just am thankful for the 14 years and I'm thankful for Patrick nap. And I'm thankful for Mike Peterson and all the other coaches along the way, because they have poured so much into me. And how I pay it forward is doing the same things because there are already players, former players that I've coached that now sit in the seat, and I'm so proud of them and the journey.

Paul Barnett 13:27

Natasha, in your press conference, when you were announced as the new Arizona State coach, you address the players in the room and you said something really interesting. You said and this is a quote, you said this is your team, you matter. We are going to get to your why and take it a step further. And it was the last part of that sentence that it really caught my eye. And I wanted to ask you why is getting to someone's why it's so important to you, as a coach.

Natasha Adair 13:55

Ownership is ownership. What you feel like you have ownership in, you'll invest more. Think about your first car you clean that day, that thing was clean. You just had so much pride in it. Your first home, any possession that it's yours, there's ownership. And again, this 14 year journey, you hear conversations you listen, you watch, first year head coach 11 year head coach, you learn what matters. And just for me, everyone's leadership style is different. [PB7]

I'm a player's coach, I want our players because it's not just my job and our staffs job to coach them on the basketball court. We're going to coach them for life. And I can't coach them to their why if I don't know who they are, if I don't know why they're doing this, and if I don't know their family or what's important to them. And so we asked I asked those questions in recruiting I asked those questions When I get here, I constantly ask, why, what is your commitment to this game? What is your commitment? Why are you doing this, and you hear so many things over the years, I'm doing it for my family, I'm doing it for my mom, I'm doing it for my family's knee, I'm doing it. Because I want to take care of my family, I'm doing it for the love of the game. I'm doing it coach, because I'm enough, I was told growing up that I wasn't going to be or I couldn't do. And I'm doing it to prove people wrong.

So you have a team of 15 scholarship, student athletes, all 13 of them, each person, they're playing this game for a different reason. And if I'm only going in with my standards, and my expectations, I'm going to miss and everyone you and I, everyone wants to be heard, they want to feel needed, and they want to feel appreciated and valued. And for me, it's just it works. When they know, I'm coaching them to their why they say wow, Coach heard me, she's listening and matter. And it doesn't mean I lose sight of our foundation, I lose sight of the culture, or the standards in which we will play with. But if they know that they matter, you know how hard they're going to fight for their team and their sisters. And when everyone knows each other, why collectively, they're going to help, they're going to push, they're going to encourage they're going to motivate. [PB8]

And so I have found that when you empower your student athletes, when you empower your assistance when you empower your support staff, all the people around you, and you know what makes them tick, and you feed it, then they'll run through a wall for you because they know it's authentic. They know it's intentional, and it just makes them feel important. [PB9]

Why do you coach Natasha?

(insert pause)

and Coach to make people accomplish what they may not think that they can do? I coach because I feel as though now now, it's my ministry. I think early on, I coach because it was my passion. I coach because I love the sport. I'm a I'm a competitor and all things. But over time, I evolved as a coach, as a leader, accepting the role and the responsibility as the mentor as an example, to let young people young women know that you can do it. You don't have to apologize for working hard. And having goals, you can do it as a mom, you will have to have balance and sacrifice. But I want them to see me not just as their coach, as a strong woman, a strong woman for me of faith, but just someone who defies all odds. Who's fearless, and who makes people better.[PB10]

Paul Barnett 17:49

I know that words are important to you, Natasha, come through in this interview. You're so articulate, there's no stumbling. There's no filter words. And it's so I wish people could see the video. It's so. And I know that you love to have individual conversations with people about the why I've read that you prefer that the big team gatherings. I also read that you wrote poetry I do. Could you tell us about a time where you were given some feedback, specifically in words, and how that helped you evolve as a leader.

Natasha Adair 18:20

I'll say there was a time where his name is Kevin seven. And we cross paths. He was on the men's side at Georgetown, when I was at Georgetown, and we just sit in a casual conversation, talking basketball talking shop. But he said coach, be cautious chasing the big trophy. And I'm looking at him and he said don't lose sight of the living trophies and almost knocked me down. We are coaches and I'm here at Arizona State to win the national championship. That is the ultimate goal. Right? The don't lose sight of the young people, the living trophies, they can go out and tell the story. They can go out until the experiences they can go out and accomplish and talk about their journey here. Those are the living trophies and that immediately, and not that I didn't care about the student athletes or to try to empower them. But just that phrase, just living trophies. The words was so powerful that whenever I can speak into whoever I can speak to, I share that. And I always make sure that I talk about Kevin's that men say that that was our conversation. And that was what he said to me, because I do not want to misquote using that as my own. But I do use it because I do think that's super important for people to understand what we're doing and the power that we have the power and influence of a coach, have a teacher. We are with the students, the student athletes, more than their parents. We are with them in their formidable years. So we are in May Are my living trophies. And so the power of words, the power phrases that has been with me and will stay with me forever.[PB11] [PB12]

Paul Barnett 20:09

You also talk a lot about action. In your interviews you also taught and you've talked about it in this interview, actually, when when I asked you about great coaches, and you said their listeners, they empower and they have selflessness, you also emphasize selflessness a lot in your team. And I wanted to ask you, how do you bring a focus on selflessness just into the daily routines of that team.

Natasha Adair 20:30

That's just how I'm wired. We talk about a week theme versus a me team. We don't have agendas. We don't feed egos. We just don't. But what we do is, we acknowledge one another, from a past to meet a you and you make the shot. I'm very intentional to say, hey, go tell her great paths. Did you tell you a teammate that might have missed? Hey, I'll see you next time. It was a great look. You got it next time. So always interjecting the positive. I think that's super important. Because we all it's human nature to go negative or to reflect on what didn't work. But I think it's again, intentionality, about positivity with others, and with our players with our staff. I'm constantly saying thank you. Thank you. I appreciate you. And sometimes they'll tell me Well, no coach, that was you know, it wasn't it was you, I know who I am. I know who I am. I know what I like, I know what I want. I have a vision. I'm a thinker, I process it, I see it before it happens. But I know that nothing happens without others. I mean, get here, we're not having this conversation. Without hundreds of people. It is important, especially in a world where it's immediate gratification, where it's how many likes. So how many people told me they liked something or how good I am to get lost in self. I think there's a bounce and saying, hey, great job, but recognize how you got here. And so I think when we make that a culture, when we make that a conversation, when you say great job, or high five, you will get excited for you. But immediately changed that mind shift to how did that happen? Oh, you know, she helped me. So I have acknowledged to helps. And so you lose, you lose the EDA, and you understand the togetherness, the importance, especially on a team, even an individual sport, someone helped you, but they prepared you. So I just say that that's the culture though. That is a conversation that we have daily as a staff. That's a conversation that we have as a team, that then it becomes habit repetition, that Mike Peterson always used to say the back of the shampoo bottle tells you a lot about how well you'll be as a person as a leader as a competitor because it says rinse lather and repeat, rinse lather. Again, people who poured words that have super powerful meanings, and I listened to them, rinse lather and repeat. Every day, everything will grow a culture.[PB13]

Paul Barnett 23:07

Natasha, your leadership vision is not confined to the gym, though you're, you're very vocal on a quality issues. In fact, I think they're probably core to what you stand for as a human being. What would you like to see more leaders in the community do just every day? What would you like them to start doing tomorrow? When it comes to diversity and equality?

Natasha Adair 23:29

First, I would like all leaders of people, not just coaches of people to ask the people that they're leading what they need. So many leaders forget to ask, they go in with these preconceived notions of their agenda, what they have to do, meaning they themselves. I want this, we need that. What do you need? And so I think the first thing, the first order of business, is ask the people that they're leaving, what they need, and what they need from them. As a leader. I do that all the time. What do you need from me as your head coach? How do you want me to coach you? I don't know if a lot of coaches ask them. Well, Coach, I want you to be direct or coach, I don't want you to call me out in front of the group. Coach, I want to just sit in one on one. I'm more private, and more one on one that immediately lets me know, that's what they need from me. I need feedback. I need to know feedback pretty much daily, okay. And everyone needs something different love leaders immediately to start asking the people who they're leading what they need, and then use their platform to create change. Change is uncomfortable. Change is uncomfortable for so many. Equality, right? Diversity, social justice, no, a lot of people are uncomfortable talking about that. But if I'm a leader, and I'm leading a group of people, it is my responsibility. Want to make sure every person that I'm leading feels important. That's why representation matters, gender, ethnicity matters. I can't lead, or I can't empower someone, if they never know that they can do it. You walk into a room and there is not equality, if there is not balance, if there's not diversity, if I believe in young people, and they look around, and there's no looks like, how do they know they can, I just think that it's time for leaders to have tough conversations with themself. And whatever it is they're uncomfortable with and seek out resources, seek out information, seek out help, because they're failing in their leadership, if they don't bring awareness if they don't bring change if they don't bring new ideas if they don't grow their culture. So I just think that's where the word action, it's time, I think they need to first ask them, I think, when you know, you know,[PB14]

Paul Barnett 26:07

Natasha, I'd like to follow up and talk to you a little bit more about empowerment. You mentioned that. Maybe just another great quote I've got from you before I asked the question you say, as a coach, you're going to prepare them the players to compete, you're going to prepare them on game night. But you have to prepare them as young women, every place I've been, we've had success, because we empowered our student athletes. Again, it's the last part of the quote that just caught my eye. I'm wondering, there'll be people listening that think, okay, I want to start empowering my team. And it could be a community group or workgroup? And what are some of the practical things you think they could do to just start empowering people tomorrow?

Natasha Adair 26:48

I hate to sound repetitive, but whoever you're leading, you have to know where they want to go. So I think you have to have that initial conversation of what matters to them. What are their goals? What are their short term goals? What are their long term goals? But then what's holding them back? See, I think there's another thing, what are their fears? What are their fears, and then feed them feed their fears, what's important to them, If players on my team love like causes and things are important to them, I know like breast cancer awareness, because it's near and dear to their family. So when there's a community service event, we're going to make sure there's awareness around breast cancer, if there is maybe something internally in someone's family that they're dealing with, that we can gather around or create awareness about. I know where it was previously, mental health was really important for one of my student athletes. And she was also an Art Design major. So she got to design the shirts that the team wore. And we wore them for a mental health game that lets her know, she matters that lets her know that what's important to her is important to me. And I think that that's the empowerment where we have them from 17 to 18 years old to 22 to 23 years old, where they come in, and they're really soft spoken and their shoulders, maybe slumped to where by their sophomore year, their parents are calling and saying, Wow, my daughter is part of the student group, I'm really big on tapping into the academic experience as well. So if there are groups on campus that are important to you, then we will find time and balance and all that we have to do to make sure you're a part of that group. We had players on the diversity task force, we had players on Student Athlete Advisory Committees, we had them all over because that was important. And so you don't know what's important to them if you don't ask. But then when you have that information, do you just hold it? Or do you say, I heard you, you know what, I want you to be our representative. I want you to speak here at this organization. I want you to come with me and shadow me because I know you want to be a coach. There's an organization through the web CA, a program rather, that's called so you want to be a coach, you have to apply for it. It's like it's a job and you need to go through the interviewing process. Well, I have three players in my previous institution where they say, coach, we want to want to coach well, you immediately reach out to the WBC. And so you want to be a coach program because I've heard my three players said they needed my help. Well, all three of them got into the program. All three of them today are coaching.

You empower them by allowing them to share, to have conversations to be in safe spaces with you about their wants, their needs, their fears, and you show them that you know what, I'm acting, I'm acting on your behalf. I'm being there for you and helping navigate this path that we told you we were going to do when we sat in your home that we told your parents now I tell the parents I do not promise playing time, but I do promise that you will be proud of your daughter's growth in your daughter's development. So when you lay your head down at night, you know that she's okay. That's what I promised. And every day we work towards that,[PB15]

Paul Barnett 30:11

Natasha, I've heard you talk about being pushed as a player, and how it helped you actually become better. And now, how this influences youth push when a player doesn't quite see their potential. And I was quite intrigued by this, because there's this line between pushing people to that not letting it become aggressive. And I think this is something that all leaders in any form, you might be leading a sales team, you're often confronted with this challenge. And I'm wondering how you go about dealing with

Natasha Adair 30:44

it. It's balance, and it is growth over time, my younger Coach Self was probably more, I would say, competitive and vocal and my approach from a younger standpoint, because again, I hadn't learned yet on how to be a good listener or good manager of people. I was 25. So I just graduated. So I'm thinking, this is how it's supposed to be understanding. Everyone's different, as I evolved as a coach, and I watched different coaching styles and techniques, knowing my own experience was what I had, but learning from other coaches, and listening and watching behaviors from responses and saying, How am I going to be if I'm so blessed to sit in this seat? What am I going to pull from all of my teachers, and then what works for the student.

And for me, it has really, players have changed in a sense, I don't agree with the Batum down to build them up, break them down and build them up. It doesn't work. It just doesn't no one liked it, maybe 30 years ago when that was the coaching strategy for us. But we just, we didn't know any other way. Now that you know another way and you know that, you build them up by building them up further, you build them up by highlighting, and praising the journey, and reminding them what they said to you. Coach, I want to be all conference coach, I want to go to the WNBA. Coach, I want to be number one in this, that or the other from a statistical standpoint. So my delivery now is, remember, you said you want it to be this? Do you think your performance today, or your energy today, or your effort today, or your communication today speaks to your ally? Coach, I probably okay, well, wasn't bad. But I'm trying to get you where you said you want it to go. And in my experience, the players who have done those things, or have gone to the places, they were in the front, they were vocal, they didn't take a possession off. They were selfless, they looked at at all given more examples than criticism, reminding them what they said they wanted to accomplish, to get them back to center. Because oftentimes, it's words and then words get lost in feelings and emotions. So I think for me, getting them back to center of their words, helps them process. [PB16] [PB17]

Okay. For me, it's just been an evolution of growth and understanding what works for you now. And the coaches who, in my opinion, who have that longevity, and have that sustainable success, aren't afraid to adapt. It's hard. You have certain coaches, that is my way, I'm not changing it, you're gonna get it to a certain degree, your standards are, what they are our principles, our formula, we're going to defend, we're going to rebound, we're going to run and we're going to score and it's going to be in that order. But along those lines, I'm not afraid to say we're going to give you framework to play basketball, trust what you know, and giving them that permission. But also, we asked them, I've asked them, How do you want me to coach you? And that will then determine never disrespectful, never demeaning, never demoralizing, but if it's direct, it's you're not stopping the ball. I need you to stop the ball. I need you. We need you. The team needs you. Because you are our defensive specialist. So now it's not a negative. It's direct. It's what you said you need it. The other one is, well, maybe I put my arm on his shoulder as we're walking out from the locker room. Hey, are you alright? What do you see tonight? Coach? I'm struggling on this. I think they're good shots. Just gotta hold your phone over. You just gotta let it go. You're great shooters. You think of all the rage shooters down? As far as the great shooter shouldn't hang her head, just keep shooting, shooting on calls up, have a great, so it's just knowing, knowing your audience knowing who they told you. Right, they told you what they needed. I've learned that, that is not something that I've always had. But I think over time, also, being a mother has really helped me. And it's so funny after a lot of my older players, they'll come to a game and they'll like, what is this hold hands? And what is this? Coach? I said, I'm older, when you're older, you're wiser, you know, and we laugh. But they'll say, who are you? I'd say I'm coaching a and, and I'm glad that that's the case. I'm glad that I'm still growing and evolving as a coach and understanding what the players need from me. I'm always learning because this is still my craft to, I want to every day, get it right. And if someone says, Coach, this made me feel a certain way. And clearly, whatever that was, I listen, and I fix it, or how can we make that better? Or what do you need from me? I'm just, I'm solution based. And it'll never be them. It'll never be day. It'll always be me and trying to figure it out?

Paul Barnett 36:16

Well, you are a parent, I believe you've got a son and a daughter. I don't know how tall your daughter is, but I know your son six foot eight. So I guess he's playing basketball too. I don't know what relationship you have with them. But if they ever came to you and said, Mom, have you got any leadership advice for me? And I'm sure they wouldn't use those words probably talk around it somehow. What do you think the key things you would tell them would be?

Natasha Adair 36:39

Gosh, we do I have a son, my son is Aaron. Michael, a dare. He's 25. He just turned 25. And my daughter is Alyssa Michelle, a deer and she just turned 17 and fun story. We're all connected at the hip September's a big month for us. So my son is born September 2, my daughter's September 5, and on September 7, and my dad's September 13. And so Labor Day is a pretty big bash. If you ever come this way, Labor Day weekend, just find me because somewhere we're having a party. But I would say my children are leaders in their own right. Just it's in their DNA. My son and I have so many of those talks now as he's a man, he's 25 years old. He played in college, you play basketball. And so there have been so many moments, where it's Mom, mom, mom, how do I do this? How do I handle this? What do I say? And it's so funny. Some days I'm like, am I culture and my mom in this conversation? Your mom, you're not cook your mom. Okay? Okay. And there were times he'd say, I don't need coach today. I need Mom, I don't need a lesson today. I need mom. And for me, it's all kind of jumbled together. So I will say that he is probably the leader in his friend group. My daughter, I'm sure is the leader in her friend group. And a bit of advice only,

the only thing I say to both of them. And when we leave each other aside from I love you is make good decisions. Everything comes down to it. And so I teach them to think we talk about thinking we talk about deliveries. We talk about their peers, and do you know them Do you know just different situations. But when they do call, by the time we get off the phone, it's like, okay, I'm good. And I remember the last conversation I had with my son. It's so funny. He had a friend of his in the car with him. And she laughed because she said, God, your mother just said the same thing you said. He said I knew it, mom, but I just needed confirmation. And so we do we talk about all kinds of life experiences we talk about for my son being a six, eight, black man. In America, we talk about real things. And there's nothing off the table that I don't share with my children, I want to be that person that they come to, even if they feel like mommy may be disappointed or mommy may be sad or, or I know better. And I might have made the wrong decision. And I tell them, I didn't get to where I am making all right decisions.

You have to make some wrong ones and you learn from them. And hopefully you don't make them again and again and again. But life is about decisions. And sometimes you get it right and sometimes you get it wrong. That makes us human. I don't profess to be their friend. I am the mother. There is a fine line. But I do want them to always know that they can come to me with anything. And I also think that's leadership.[PB18]

Paul Barnett 39:48

Natasha, you've been so generous with your time it's almost an hour. I think I could listen to you for a couple more. It's fantastic. You've got such a way with words and you use the word industry before and I really do feel like you're tapping into something very deep within your your audience. But I'm going to ask this last question, even though I think I know what the answer is. Now in the distant, distant future when you hang up that whistle, Pac board, although I don't know if great coaches ever do retired, what would you like your legacy to be

Natasha Adair 40:16

legacy, Legacy of empowerment, a legacy of support a legacy of trust, I just love is how I do everything. I do it with my heart. I do it with open arms. And I just want anyone anyone who's ever been around or I've been so blessed to be around and coach and mentor and impact and work with to know that they got my very best with them in mind and did it with love.[PB19]

Paul Barnett 40:50

I think love empowerment. And if I could add a little dash of selflessness is a pretty good way to finish. Great reading you tonight. Natasha. It's been a real treat for me after a long day. You've given me a real jolt of energy and I

Natasha Adair 41:04

thank you and you have an open invitation. Whenever you're here to come visit the Sun Devils and I would just love to show off what we have here.

Paul Barnett 41:12

Thank you, Natasha. I look forward to sharing this with a much much broader audience.

Natasha Adair 41:16

Thank you so much.